Now, it is important at this early juncture to explain, that Jamie's home lies no more than 40 miles due South of my own home and, even picking up Derek from his home first, we ought to have been there in about an hour! Oh ye of little faith!!! That is an estimate not counting in the little gremlins who reside in my Tom Tom sat-nav.......
With the knowledge that a postcode usually refers to no more than three or four houses in a particular street anywhere in Britain, I felt sure that we would be there in quick time and be sat drinking a nice cup of tea and having a good laugh very soon. Think again! :o)
We started off from Derek's house at about 11.30 AM and started a veritable rally tour of South East England. As we drove along, chatting and laughing about all sorts of things, we neither of us took note that time was going by, as we both occasionally shut up to listen to the directions....turn left, turn right, do a back flip - whatever! LOL. What we didn't do was pay attention to where we were going! Come 1 o'clock and grumbling bellies, we realised we were in the middle of nowhere! Country lanes and single track roads and still that insistent voice kept droning on - keep left, keep left - with hedges touching the car on either side! And all of a sudden, we were there - or at least as far as 'that woman' in the Tom Tom was concerned!!!
Derek got out of the car to check that the house we had arrived at was the right one - the only one in a private single-track lane with sleeping policemen on the road - to be met by a rather posh lady, who assured him that none of the houses thereabouts were 'numbered', but were instead 'all named'! With that a rather aggrieved Labrador came bounding out barking at the intruder - Derek - and so off we went again! Reaching a main road (sort of), we pulled over and phoned Jamie to assure him we were near and would be there in no time if he would care to give us a pub or landmark to look out for. He did - and we couldn't see anything. So, this time we put in the full address. We were not only nowhere near, but in the wrong county!!! =o/
So, off we went again, still listening to the wretched sat-nav woman and we headed for the right county. Now, you might imagine that this is the end of it - a comfortable, if protracted drive, to reach an address just a hop, skip and a jump from my own home, with a diversion caused by who knows what, to a location God knows where!?!
As we passed through one particular town for the third time, from different directions each time, we realised we were 'off on one' again! Now, those of you who know me well, know what a peculiar sense of humour I truly have and may have heard my hysterical laughter, when I can no longer control the rising hysteria!!! We had reached that point by now and Mutley was laughing again - at full force!!! Derek's laugh can be just as outrageous and we were in danger of not being able to drive. Another phone call and more directions, with Derek unable to clearly hear Jamie, causing a very strange conversation of misheard names and uncontrollable laughter! Surely this time.....
Another hour later (3 in total) and we were there!!! Jamie stepped out of his house to welcome us and we crept out of the car like two 90 year olds - aching and clutching our stomachs and grinning sheepishly at our patient host!!!
Inside - a cup of tea - a bit of general chat - and we started with the poster we had come to sign and a couple of books. Derek and I had also brought a few photos as presents for Jamie and so we signed them too, with Jamie and Derek photographing the whole process! We were still slightly giggly from the ludicrous drive and it soon led to the signing descending into something akin to a Goon Show skit. Jamie was great fun and I don't suppose he imagined that having the two of us come to his house would turn into a 3-ring Barnum and Bailey circus - but he handled it and us well!
Hours later, and home came Jamie's partner and fiancee to find three giggling men, no doubt confirming her opinion of men in general, and we started to make a move. 6 o'clock!!! Where had the day gone? At least, the drive home would be straight forward???
This time 'the bitch' in the Tom Tom was leading us home in the right direction, but she hauled us kicking and screaming onto the M23 and a traffic jam of monumental dimensions, starting south of Gatwick and seeming to have no end until London. I was starting to run low on petrol and hysteria set into two middle-aged, ravenously hungry and tired men.
I think it was about 8.30 PM when I finally fell through the door and inhaled a steak and kidney pie and a handful of pills.
Genuinely cross-eyed by now, I sat down to read my post and check in on Facebook. I had received some lovely drawings from a young Star Wars fan in Stockholm, called Robin Arvidsson, who had used some of the photos found on Facebook as reference. I am genuinely very touched by the thought that went into them, and so, I reproduce them here with Robin's permission for you to enjoy too, prefaced with some photos from the signing session!
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